Here's a big question
for all of you out there. If you're really out there, huh. Did it ever happen
to you that you felt infatuated with someone you barely know and actually fell
in love just by seeing her almost everyday? Then you start to stalk her by
following her every post in Facebook and liking some at the same time (to avoid
suspicions. 'Coz it would really look suspicious if you liked each and every
post!)? Then you went through her 'Photos of You' album and saved almost every
solo photo she has in there? Then you made her photos your mobile phone wallpaper?
Then you started daydreaming and actually imagining her as your girlfriend?
Then your craziness went so high that you even talked to her picture sometime?
Or maybe most of the time? Then you even prayed that she'd be in your dreams
just for the sake of being with her? Then it went through your head that she'll
never be yours even if you actually managed to fish the moon and the stars?
Then you realized it would be so dumb to continue drooling over her and
actually thought of moving on? Then you started moving on and your back to your
old miserable life again? Did it happen to you? If it did, then you're one in a
million. No, we're two!
Here's the catch.
Back a few years ago, when I was among those little innocent, carefree, angelic
freshmen in my college, I met a girl who I was attracted to the instant I laid
my eyes upon her. Quite a fairy tale, actually. But it's true. Love at first
sight could actually exist. But I never thought of it as love before, so forget
that mythical saying. But the fact still remained that I like her. A lot, mind
you. Not that I knew her that much before. I was attracted with her, uhm,
stunning looks! I really was stunned. She's a bee, man. She may not be that
beautiful-beautiful for some, but she definitely has something in her that will
make every guy forget their mother's name. And I was one of them. But i did
manage to not forget my mom. But the idea of liking her seemed so ambitious.
And the idea of her liking me is absolutely absurd. So I got off of it, and
started shifting my focus on other things. Meanwhile, I grabbed every solo
photo she had on friendster (yeah, friendster was still kickin' that time). I
made one pic of her with this silly little santa cap on her head my laptop
wallpaper and got scolded 'coz of it. My father wasn't really happy with it. He
called it, and I quote, fantasizing, unquote. So, I removed her from my wall
and deleted the album dedicated for her.
For the next years, I went through a lot. A lot meant heartaches. But I'll not get into detail with
it. I have my book to settle with it. If you're interested in learning things
about love, crazy love, undying love, heartaches, moving on, and how to survive
major love problems, let me know, I may give you a copy. So, after four long
years, after 3 failed relationships, after the publication of my book, I saw
her again. Notice is, I think, the right term. All grown up! And she proved
that growing really is for the better. In fact, she grew into a fine lady that
made my heart jumped again. Whoa! Here I go again! Feelings from the past which I thought was long dead suddenly burst out! And I was like, "whoa! Wait a
minute! I mean, for real?". At first, the idea was, uhm, interesting. Then
it became entertaining. Then it evolved into serious admiration. And it went
all the way to LOVE. LOVE!!! Would you believe it? Maybe there was a part of me
that deserved to be blamed. I mean, I helped develop the feeling. I, for the
second time around, and as mentioned on the first paragraph, made a second
album full of her solo pics from her own Facebook account. I know it's stealing
and I will plea guilty on any court if I would be sued, but you can't blame me.
I like the girl a lot. But let me defend myself here. I never intended to fall
for her. Uh uh. Never. Ever! It just did. It was like, one day, I woke up
suddenly realizing, oh, I love her already. Yap yap.
Let me go back to the
part where I finally realized that continuing this feeling for her will not
cause anything beneficial for the both of us, I decided to let go of it. Before
things get worse, I settled with it. So, none would be harmed. Without her
knowing at all, there's this one guy here that loved her so much even without
proper acquaintance, but before even that, the guy decided to move on with it.
And that's that.
You may ask, of
course, why did I suddenly decide to let go of the feeling. You have the right
to ask, and I have the right to answer. You see, I do have the ability, the
rare ability, of recognizing defeat even without entering the battle at first.
3 failed major relationships from the past taught me it. Call me Superman,
dude. That's it. It never came to me that she might like me. The idea is as
blur as channel 1,092,695 on your local cable provider. There is no way, I say
no way, that someone like her, as divine as her, would actually like someone
like me! Things like that only happen in fairy tales. And this, i'm afraid, is
not fairy tale. This is, sadly, what you call, reality that everyone, including
me, must accept. Boo Hoo!
